when the top is the best

So, after spending the last few days shoving cake, brownies, cookies, and ice cream down my throat- more than once a day, I decided my late night snack tonight would be something more "healthy". So I snatch a banana from my parents' fruit bowl, strip it of it's peel, and slather a generous amount of peanut butter on top of the shaft of the banana- yeah i just said that, now lets continue. - I take a bite and don't experience the ultimate blissful goodness of the peanut butter to it's maximum level. And you know why?? Because for some odd reason, "they" all taught us from the begining of our crafty little lives to do such the thing: Toppings and spreads, stay on top as you take each bite.

Why?!?!

Why on earth would we make the most scrumptious part away from our tastebuds? Hmm? Ever wondered that yourself? Well anyhow, I turned that banana right around, and vowed to myself never to stray my tastebuds from ultimate pleasure. Ever, ever again.

cupcakes, brownies, pizza, everything will now be inserted and consumed upside down, which will eternally turn my frown; upside down.

observing.

I sat outside in my yard yesterday, writing in one of my notebooks. I wrote, and wrote... things were seemingly heavy and too dark for such a bright beautiful summer day. I turned the page and took a detour, it was more meant to be a mental note for myself but I might as well put it on here to show I'm still alive. This is what leapt out of my little old green bic pen:

My head is loud. My mind - Clusterfucked. I suddenly allow myself to mute the chaos. It's beautiful. The birds. They sing. The leaves. They dance. Tap dancing amongst eachother creating the faintest noise. A lawn mower from afar. Loudly proclaiming to us all that it is out enjoying this beautiful summer day. This fly. Monotomous buzzing. Initially annoying. Suddenly the buzzing morphs into an alarm. The buzzing. Reminding me. I am breathing. Living. Basking in the beauty of this earth. Swish. Swish. I have company. My Dog. She's moved off of my sheet. Swish. Swish. She teeters on her back. Corners of her mouth plummet down to each ear. Pink Pudgy belly marinates in the seductive warmth. Silence. There's a calm. The redundant sound of traffic resembles the soothing melodies of the oceans retracting tides. Memories. Memories of my Hawaii life.

I ended where I did because my family came home from church and I had to watch over my nephew while the others went to two other church functions. Although I could've gone on. I think it stops right where it should've, because I was no longer absorbing my surroundings; the traffic had started to lead me into a train of though.

anyway, thats that.

me

out of all photos collecting in my photo library, I feel like this is pretty much me.


photo by Liliana Felleti

Home

I'm home.
Away from all the smut, smoke and mirrors of hollywood. I've got about a week left here. Hoping to return next week with a whole lot more of me than I arrived here with yesterday.