Alright, so I suck.

I haven't had internet in my apartment for a while, due to sheer laziness.

This blog/chapter of my life has come to, or more so fizzled to an end. I'm going to get internet again; and create a new blog. My creative outlet has been stifled, and I'm trying to exercise my noggin' in every which way lately.

see ya soon.

when the top is the best

So, after spending the last few days shoving cake, brownies, cookies, and ice cream down my throat- more than once a day, I decided my late night snack tonight would be something more "healthy". So I snatch a banana from my parents' fruit bowl, strip it of it's peel, and slather a generous amount of peanut butter on top of the shaft of the banana- yeah i just said that, now lets continue. - I take a bite and don't experience the ultimate blissful goodness of the peanut butter to it's maximum level. And you know why?? Because for some odd reason, "they" all taught us from the begining of our crafty little lives to do such the thing: Toppings and spreads, stay on top as you take each bite.

Why?!?!

Why on earth would we make the most scrumptious part away from our tastebuds? Hmm? Ever wondered that yourself? Well anyhow, I turned that banana right around, and vowed to myself never to stray my tastebuds from ultimate pleasure. Ever, ever again.

cupcakes, brownies, pizza, everything will now be inserted and consumed upside down, which will eternally turn my frown; upside down.

observing.

I sat outside in my yard yesterday, writing in one of my notebooks. I wrote, and wrote... things were seemingly heavy and too dark for such a bright beautiful summer day. I turned the page and took a detour, it was more meant to be a mental note for myself but I might as well put it on here to show I'm still alive. This is what leapt out of my little old green bic pen:

My head is loud. My mind - Clusterfucked. I suddenly allow myself to mute the chaos. It's beautiful. The birds. They sing. The leaves. They dance. Tap dancing amongst eachother creating the faintest noise. A lawn mower from afar. Loudly proclaiming to us all that it is out enjoying this beautiful summer day. This fly. Monotomous buzzing. Initially annoying. Suddenly the buzzing morphs into an alarm. The buzzing. Reminding me. I am breathing. Living. Basking in the beauty of this earth. Swish. Swish. I have company. My Dog. She's moved off of my sheet. Swish. Swish. She teeters on her back. Corners of her mouth plummet down to each ear. Pink Pudgy belly marinates in the seductive warmth. Silence. There's a calm. The redundant sound of traffic resembles the soothing melodies of the oceans retracting tides. Memories. Memories of my Hawaii life.

I ended where I did because my family came home from church and I had to watch over my nephew while the others went to two other church functions. Although I could've gone on. I think it stops right where it should've, because I was no longer absorbing my surroundings; the traffic had started to lead me into a train of though.

anyway, thats that.

me

out of all photos collecting in my photo library, I feel like this is pretty much me.


photo by Liliana Felleti

Home

I'm home.
Away from all the smut, smoke and mirrors of hollywood. I've got about a week left here. Hoping to return next week with a whole lot more of me than I arrived here with yesterday.

crusty old blog.

i almost want to dry my hands of this crusty old blog and start over.

Or do I want to even start over? I don't know. Too tired to think.

disorderly sleeping.

I've suffered from one sleep disorder to the next for about 8 years or so. Until recently, I've mostly always claimed victim to insomnia. Nowadays, I tend to fall asleep whenever I sit down, lay down, anytime, anywhere. I can't get through 15 minutes of a television show, or movie... After I finish a meal, I'm out like a light. I'd like to say I've transitioned from an insomniac to a narcoleptic. (Laughing, crying, talking in my sleep included)



After seeing these videos, its good to know; I'm not alone in the "disfunctional sleeper" department.

Also...

What better reason (other than family and best friends) to make a trip home to the great Northwest? 3 days of Music, Camping, Comedians, and friends! yeayuh.

and it won't be blistering hot like Coachella..Or Lollapolooza for that matter.


SASQUATCH (at The Gorge)

THE LINE UP

Saturday, May 23th
Kings of Leon / Yeah Yeah Yeahs / The Decemberists / Animal Collective / Bon Iver / Devotchka / M. Ward / Doves / Sun Kil Moon / The Gaslight Anthem / King Khan & The Shrines / Ra Ra Riot / Shearwater / Passion Pit / Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band / Vince Mira / Blind Pilot / Owl City / Arthur & Yu / Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele / Death Vessel / Hockey / People's Republic of Komedy / James Pants / Todd Barry / Tim and Eric / Crystal Castles

Sunday, May 24th
Jane's Addiction / Nine Inch Nails / TV On The Radio / The Murder City Devils / of Montreal / The Avett Brothers / Calexico / M83 / The Airborne Toxic Event / The Walkmen / The Wrens / St. Vincent / The Dodos / John Vanderslice / The Submarines / Viva Voce / The Builders And The Butchers / AA Bondy / Fences / Point Juncture, WA / The Red Wine Boys / Zach Galifianakis / Deadmau5 / Natalie Portman's Shaved Head / People's Republic of Komedy

Monday, May 25th
Ben Harper and Relentless7 / Erykah Badu / Silversun Pickups / Fleet Foxes / Gogol Bordello / Santigold / Grizzly Bear / Explosions In The Sky / Girl Talk / Blitzen Trapper / The Knux / Monotonix / Bishop Allen / Black Moth Super Rainbow / Beach House / Mugison / The Dutchess And The Duke / School Of Seven Bells / Horse Feathers / The Pica Beats / Loch Lomond / People's Republic of Komedy / Tobacco / Chromeo / God's Pottery / Demetri Martin / BLK JKS / The Whitest Kids U' Know


Go to http://www.sasquatchfestival.com for more details.

47 Days to go.

....This year, I plan to make it through all 3 days without going to the E.R.

friday night

It's friday.
9:27 pm.
iTunes Paused.
TV Off.

My ears are fully committed to my neighbors. With my windows open I can hear them ever so clearly. My female neighbor is always singing/playing her music. But tonight, She's invited a male friend over and his voice not only has molded perfectly with hers, but has swept her voice and the melody it carries; off it's feet to another level.

At this point, I find myself very close to walk up there knock on the door. Just to hang, sit, and listen. Right now, as I type they've just stopped and are laughing and dinking around with chords, deciding what to play next.

I hope, I think, they are in love.
I am in love with the fact of them possibility being in love. I can almost feel their chemistry through my window.

Whoever wants to come over next friday and eavesdrop on this musical goodness is welcome, just give me an advanced warning, because (of course) my apartment is a pigs sty.

to let you in, I'd say the female is- Cat Power, meets Jewel, Meets Zooey Deschanel. The guy.... Mason Jennnings meets M. Ward. Meets.......something sexy.

live

"The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." - Henry Miller

look both ways

I got hit by a moving vehicle today. I was running to runyon canyon (following my run I always hike up to the top). I was crossing the cross walk at the appropriate time for pedestrians to cross. The man wouldn't notice me; that was until I beat the living shit out of his car with my fists and Nike's.

watch out for pedestrians, they may fight back.

The Kills

This album came out about a year ago, and I haven't gotten sick of it yet. Yeah, I've put it to rest for a few weeks or months at a time. But Whenever I dust off the ol' album and give it a spin, it's like an old friend meeting up where you left off. This song never ceases to get my body movin' and a shakin. It oozes sex appeal to me without being skanky or trashy.

and the video's pretty cool and weird. Which means if it was a dude, I would date it.




...tell me you don't love it.

Life is Beautiful

Recently while driving up La Brea ave, I noticed that someone had taken red paint to a plain cement wall, and scripted "LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL" in huge letters which were slightly imperfect across the entire wall. For some odd reason these simple three words spoke to me through their sloppy red text.

I've been going through some shit lately and no matter what, when I drive past, it cheers me up, makes my eyes water up a little, and calms me down. In the middle of traffic it takes me from stressing about one thing or another to stop and think. Reminding me that through every struggle and circumstance, you grow. At times when you're soo low, even though subconsciously you know it, it's hard to see there's a potential light at the end of this dingy dark tunnel.

In the middle of the smut, the filth, and sin on the streets of Los Angeles, some person probably took a couple cans of paint, and an hour or two, to create this beautiful imperfect, mural of words, uknowingly affecting myself and most likely many many other. And I thank them, for reminding me that Life is indeed very beautiful. Life is art. Without all of the imperfections, you wouldn't be appreciate the beauty.


I encourage more powerful and enlightening words to be spread through the many corrupt streets, wish it upon any city, any town, any building. This is what I call art. Art to me, isn't a picture, or a painting, it is something that has been created by a pair of hands, and provides the capability to make others feel it. To me art is a feeling. which can be felt through craft.

Unfortunately, I am always on the opposite side of the street and haven't been at a good angle to capture a photo. I thank computer god's for google, because I was able to find a photo of it, and now am able to share it with you all.



Now, it has been painted all red, and has a paintings of Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, and Barrack Obama staring you down, reminding you that history is still in the making, as you cruise down La Brea Ave.

shit.

lump in your throat,
ache in your heart
weight on your brain.

all side affects after a bad case of verbal diarreha.

Love

I love my best friends. They make my world go 'round. Each one has their own quirks and craziness that I absolutely adore. I will never ever ever let you go. At this point in my life, I am in love, in love with each one of you ladies. You are what keep me smiling, keep me sane, what remind me of who and why I am.

Love Love Love.

won't you be my neighbor.

My Neighbor Talks Loud, Her dogs barks even louder, but on the upside, has great taste in music- which unfortunately settles at the quietest decibel of them all.

she's eavesdroppping

I've started a separate blog.

I completely dedicated another waste of (cyber) space to being subtly rude: Eavesdropping.

I mentally note things that I hear which intrigue me. Either because it's a peculiar statement, or unexpected words to hear from unexpected people. Some may be humorous, some sad, and hopefully just plain crazy.

I admittedly eavesdrop a lot, and I've decided to let (whoever wants in) on the whispers that my ears collect throughout Los Angeles.
So, let the shames begin.

http://sheseavesdropping.blogspot.com/

Gran Torino

I saw this movie tonight off the cuff, wasn't planning to see a movie and had no clue what it was about.

I can 100% say that this was HANDS DOWN one of the best films I've seen in a long while.

And... I cried.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. A movie that made this cold-hearted snake shed a few handfuls of tears. Please go see it.



Now.

Mind Check

I've come to realize I'd never shared one of my favorite quotes from Walt Whitman. And on this bright and shiny day in Hollywood, with a sparse bank account, and an overloaded frame of mind, I read this over and over and appreciate everything I have and it reminds me why I'm here. Both on this earth, and in my little ol' apartment.



Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.